Help me Out of this Trap

 by Chuck Snyder
 co-chaplain for the Seattle Mariners


Dear Chuck
I am 24 years old and studying in college. I think I am gay and I am very much into gay pornography on the web. I do not how to get rid of it. I am tired and sick. I need you to pray for me if you are willing...

Thank you very much!

Chuck's Response
Thanks so much for your note. I WILL add you to my prayer list for sure. I know you are in a terrible battle. I think being attracted to gay pornographic materials is a little bit like achieving a taste for olives. It is ACQUIRED, not something we have naturally. You probably already know this, but here is what God thinks about the homosexual lifestyle.

Since earliest times men have seen the earth and sky and all God made, and have known of His existence and great eternal power. So they will have no excuse when they stand before God at Judgment Day. Yes, they knew about Him all right, but they wouldn't admit it or worship Him or even thank Him for all His daily care. And after awhile they began to think up silly ideas of what God was like and what He wanted them to do. The result was that their foolish minds became dark and confused. Claiming themselves to be wise without God, they became utter fools instead. And then, instead of worshipping the glorious, ever-living God, they took wood and stone and made idols for themselves, carving them to look like mere birds and animals and snakes and puny men.

So God let them go ahead into every sort of sex sin, and do whatever they wanted--yes, vile and sinful things with each other's bodies. Instead of believing what they knew was the truth about God, they deliberately chose to believe lies. So they prayed to the things God made, but wouldn't obey the blessed God who made these things. That is why God let go of them and let them do all these evil things, so that even their women turned against God's natural plan for them and indulged in sex sin with each other. And the men, instead of having normal sex relationships with women, burned with lust for one another, men doing shameful things with other men and, as a result, getting paid within their own souls with the penalty they so richly deserved. So it was that when they gave God up and would not even acknowledge Him, God gave them up to doing everything their evil minds could think of. Their lives became full of every kind of wickedness and sin, of greed and hate, envy, murder, fighting, lying, bitterness, and gossip. They were backbiters, haters of God, insolent, proud, braggarts, always thinking of new ways of sinning and continually being disobedient to their parents. They tried to misunderstand, broke their promises, and were heartless--without pity. They were fully aware of God's death penalty for these crimes, yet they went right ahead and did them anyway and encouraged others to do them, too. Romans 1:20-32 (Living)

It sounds like you have bought Satan's lie that some people are born homosexual just like a black baby has no choice of his color and the girl baby has no choice about what sex she is. I think even a casual knowledge of the subject would have to conclude that being black or female is fixed at birth, and homosexuality and lesbianism is a choice. This is very easy for me to say, and SO difficult for you to do...but since homosexuality and lesbianism are choices, then YOU have to make the choice to immediately stop opening yourself up to the thoughts that Satan brings to your mind. This doesn't mean all of a sudden you become attracted to women. This may never happen, but you need to DECIDE not to offend God with your thoughts and actions that would be absolutely contrary to what He wants from you.

As I said, our culture is telling the lie of homosexuality being an alternative lifestyle and is designed at birth. If this were true, then we need to throw out our Bibles, because the God I worship would not design someone in a certain way (a homosexual) and then blast him or her in Romans. That would not be fair. There is no way we can rationalize this and still say that Scripture is true. We either give up the Bible and God and do things our own way, or die to ourselves and obey God. He will let us do either, but only blesses obedience.

There is no problem having friendships with men of course, but if you find yourself thinking sexual thoughts, then you need to move on. You need to take the same steps that a heterosexual male takes to combat female pornography. He has a filter on the Internet if he can't control himself. He does not have Showtime or HBO in his house because of all the sexual themes that will inflame his mind. He locks out the porno channel in the hotel when he is in a hotel alone on business. This is probably the toughest battle you will face in your life.

I'm not trying to give you easy answers. If you are NOT a true, born again, sold out, dedicated disciple of Jesus Christ, then my words will probably sound silly to you. But if you DO have a relationship with Jesus Christ, then I'll be praying that He will make Himself very real in your battle. The idea is to RUN from temptation by choice, not because we don't FEEL like giving in. When I go to my barber shop, he has some wonderful women-porn magazines on the chairs, but by an act of my WILL, I pick up the morning paper instead. Not because I would not enjoy the magazines, but because I want to please my Heavenly Father more than I want to please myself. I don't know if any of this makes sense to you, but these are my thoughts for your consideration. Let me know if you want to talk further.

Chuck Snyder



View a complete list of books


Contact Chuck:
Updated 05/24/2005