How Can I Witness to a 
Homosexual Cousin?

 by Chuck Snyder
 co-chaplain for the Seattle Mariners


Dear Chuck
I'm a pastor. My cousin is living in with another woman. She had a baby by artificial insemination. Her partner adopted the baby. They want the baby to be "christened." They want me to do the ceremony. How do I deal with them? I'm thinking of the possibility for witnessing to them and showing them from the Bible that their lifestyle is wrong. How can I do this in a loving way?

Chuck's Response
Wow what a tough question concerning your cousin wanting you to christen their baby. I assume she is not a true, born-again, sold-out, dedicated disciple of Jesus Christ (or she would know better). On one hand, one of my passions is having relationships with my precious non-Christian, heathen, agnostic friends without doing anything that would hinder my testimony. On the other hand, in this case, you would be involving God in a Christian ceremony (dedicating a child to Christ), but doing it for people who are in blatant violation of His principles. Also, there would be an appearance of evil problem where people on the fence, who do not know your stand on homosexuality, will assume you are "blessing" this arrangement with the ceremony. 

Even though it might do damage to the relationship you have with your cousin, I would vote for you to softly explain what you feel about that lifestyle, and how it would be a violation of your core beliefs to do something publicly.

The Living Bible changed my life, and I find it very valuable with non-Christians and young Christians because it does not talk in religious terms and there is no doubt what it means. Here is a passage from Romans 1 you might share with your cousin to give her a little background on why you can't help her:

Since earliest times men have seen the earth and sky and all God made, and have known of his existence and great eternal power. So they will have no excuse when they stand before God at Judgment Day.
Yes, they knew about him all right, but they wouldn't admit it or worship him or even thank him for all his daily care. And after a while they began to think up silly ideas of what God was like and what he wanted them to do. The result was that their foolish minds became dark and confused. Claiming themselves to be wise without God, they became utter fools instead. And then, instead of worshipping the glorious, ever-living God, they took wood and stone and made idols for themselves, carving them to look like mere birds and animals and snakes and puny men.

So God let them go ahead into every sort of sex sin, and do whatever they wanted to--yes, vile and sinful things with each other's bodies. Instead of believing what they knew was the truth about God, they deliberately chose to believe lies. So they prayed to the things God made, but wouldn't obey the blessed God who made these things. That is why God let go of them and let them do all these evil things, so that even their women turned against God's natural plan for them and indulged in sex sin with each other. And the men, instead of having normal sex relationships with women, burned with lust for each other, men doing shameful things with other men and, as a result, getting paid within their own souls with the penalty they so richly deserved.

So it was that when they gave God up and would not even acknowledge him, God gave them up to doing everything their evil minds could think of. Their lives became full of every kind of wickedness and sin, of greed and hate, envy, murder, fighting, lying, bitterness, and gossip. They were backbiters, haters of God, insolent, proud, braggarts, always thinking of new ways of sinning and continually being disobedient to their parents. They tried to misunderstand, broke their promises, and were heartless--without pity. They were fully aware of God's death penalty for these crimes, yet they went right ahead and did them anyway and encouraged others to do them, too. (Romans 1:20-32 Living)

I'm not sure it could be stated any plainer. These are my thoughts for your consideration. I'm honored you would reach out.

Chuck Snyder



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Updated 05/24/2005