Could God be Telling Me 
Whom I Will Marry?

 by Chuck Snyder
 co-chaplain for the Seattle Mariners


Dear Chuck
About eight months ago, I believe that God revealed to me the man that I will someday marry. I have received confirmation from about 14 people that I have asked to spend time praying about it, and they say that there is no doubt in their minds. About two months ago, God finally brought this absolutely wonderful man of God into my life as more than just a friend (we had been friends for about a year), and our relationship was everything I have ever hoped and prayed for, plus some! I do not have a single doubt that this is the man that God has for me, but a couple of weeks ago he said that he did not have enough confirmation (even though he has gotten it from several people as well) and he wanted to take a time out to spend time with God! I am at a crossroads now because I don't know if I should just stand in faith on what I believe God has shown me (his mom said he's just scared), or if I should prepare myself for the worst. He told me that it is definitely not over, he just needs more confirmation before we pursue this any further. But, I haven't spoken to him in two weeks because I told him not to call me until he receives his confirmation. What is your advice?

Chuck's Response

Thanks for the note concerning God telling you who you are going to marry. I might offend you, but I have a different take on the situation. Even though God did foretell the future for humans in the Old Testament and the first century, I don't believe He does that in this age of grace. Now we have the completed Bible to help us know the things He would like us to do. The Bible I am reading says that we are NOT to presume on the future. We are to take care of today and let GOD take care of tomorrow. I think James nicely sets the principle for us:

James 4:13-16 (Living) Look here, you people who say, "Today or tomorrow we are going to such and such a town, stay there a year, and open up a profitable business." How do you know what is going to happen tomorrow? For the length of your lives is as uncertain as the morning fog -- now you see it; soon it is gone. What you ought to say is, "If the Lord wants us to, we shall live and do this or that." Otherwise you will be bragging about your own plans, and such self-confidence never pleases God.

There is no reason God would want us to know the future, contrary to what some churches teach. We wouldn't need faith if we knew how everything was going to turn out. I think He would be contradicting Himself if He told you what was going to happen in the future, and I don't believe that God contradicts Himself.

It could have been wishful dreaming on your part. I do this a lot, visualizing what something would look like if it came to pass. All of us do that. Sometimes our dreams come true, sometimes they don't. I don't believe in nailing God into a corner just because we think He broke His own rules and told us about the future.

Your friend COULD be Mr. Right, or he might not be, contrary to your confirmations. I have no choice but to conform to what the Bible says. All you can do is continue the ups and downs of your friendship, and see where it leads. You don't have to agree of course, but those are my thoughts. Be sure to get back to me if you want to talk further.

Chuck Snyder



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Updated 05/24/2005