Attracted to Other Men

 by Chuck Snyder
 co-chaplain for the Seattle Mariners

 

Dear Chuck
I love Jesus and my husband very much, but I have a problem and I feel as if I'm the only woman alive who has this kind of problem. I still feel attracted to other men. Why is that? I love my husband. I know God put us together and I value our marriage. I thought that only men have this problem. What is the right mental attitude toward this? Am I abnormal? Women don't talk about these things. If someone is humble enough to admit to something like this, there is the possibility of backbiting and slander. I would appreciate any help with this embarrassing problem.

Chuck's Response
Thanks for your note about being attracted to other men. I think there is a difference between being attracted physically by the way they look or smile or act, and wanting to spend time or flirt with them. Men and women are designed to be attracted to each other physically. If your heart is saying that you wish you could be married to the men you meet, then maybe you have a problem ... but just to be attracted to them and think they are handsome is not sin in the least. It's what is happening in your mind. Just appreciate what you see, and then avert your eyes and think about something else so you won't be tempted to go further. I don't think you are all that strange at all. I appreciate your trust. Let me know if you want to talk further.

Chuck Snyder
 

 

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Contact Chuck: chuck@chucksnyder.org
Updated 05/24/2005