God's Direction in My Dreams

 by Chuck Snyder
 co-chaplain for the Seattle Mariners


Dear Chuck
Almost two years ago, I married a man who stated he was born again and that he loved me more than "life." And I believed him. A week into our marriage he left me and was gone for about two weeks. When he came back he apologized and promised not to leave me again. Well, two weeks later he was gone again, and he has continued to do so through out these two years.

Everyone around me, including my pastor says to divorce him. The problem with that is, it's not in my heart to do so! I chose to love him unconditionally and to walk in forgiveness -- no one understands this, and they think I've lost my mind. My covenant with my husband is very important to me, and I do not desire a divorce.

A week ago, when I was taking a shower, I had a vision and I saw my husband lying in a hospital bed and I was by his side. A strong fear came over me, and I fell to the shower floor and started praying for my husband's salvation. Two days ago while I was working on my computer it happened again.

I want to know, is this God trying to warn me of something that is going to happen? Please, help me to understand. I love my husband and I forgive him, but what should I do? What should I believe?

Chuck's Response
I felt so sad reading the note about your husband. I am so impressed that you want to make it work in spite of his traveling ways. I don't blame you for feeling abandoned and worried about your husband's life. Does he ever tell you where he is going or where he's been? In the meantime, here are my thoughts on dreams and visions. I believe God has not promised to tell us the future, and I don't even think it would be helpful for Him to do that. I think James nicely sets the principle for us:

Look here, you people who say, "Today or tomorrow we are going to such and such a town, stay there a year, and open up a profitable business." How do you know what is going to happen tomorrow? For the length of your lives is as uncertain as the morning fog -- now you see it; soon it is gone. What you ought to say is, "If the Lord wants us to, we shall live and do this or that." Otherwise you will be bragging about your own plans, and such self-confidence never pleases God. (James 4:13-16 Living)

On the other hand, I firmly and passionately believe that God speaks to our spirit loud and clear, and gives us definite directions about some of the things He wants us to do. I'm just saying that I don't believe God always gives us the final destination. I guess I go back to Proverbs where it says that "men and women make their plans but God directs the path." This implies to me, at least, that decision-making is a process. We make our plans even believe we know whom we are going to marry, or where we are going to move, but God decides the final outcome. He speaks to our heart and gives us light for the next step.

I can't think of one reason why God would want us to know the final destination in advance. First of all, that would cancel out the need for faith. We would just do this in our own strength, based on a vision or "word" from the Lord. As I say, I can't think of one reason why God would want us to know the future. What it would do is puff us up with self-importance.

First of all, pray for your husband's salvation. There is no way he is a born-again, true, sold-out, dedicated disciple of Jesus Christ. You were deceived, and I am so sorry. He might have your faith, or a church's faith, or his parents' faith, but the Bible I'm reading says that we will know someone is a true Christian by their love, not abuse.

I try to look at the trials that come into my life as a cross-stitch picture. When I look at the situation from underneath, there is a mish-mash of colors and nothing makes sense. But when I get on top of the picture where God views it, I see a beautiful barn or a soothing mountain scene. What I need to do is get on top of my circumstances and see them as God sees them. He allows me to go through them to strengthen me, and He really does have a purpose. You are in an impossible situation, but my God is the God of the impossible, and I'm praying that He will make Himself very real to you right now.

You have to give your husband up to God and continue praying for him. I'll be praying too that God will bring someone into his life who can introduce him to Jesus Christ in a real way. Let's keep in touch so I can walk with you through this difficult situation.

Chuck Snyder



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Contact Chuck: chuck@chucksnyder.org
Updated 05/24/2005